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First Short Story

Discussion in 'Gamer Creations' started by eXoZmM, Oct 11, 2010.

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  1. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    eXoZmM, Oct 11, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 11, 2010
    #1
  2. Webber

    Webber Ogre King Ogre Veteran

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    You wrote that? Awesome writing if you did:D.
     
    Webber, Oct 12, 2010
    Webber, Oct 12, 2010
    #2
  3. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    Thank you, would like to become a published author when I grow up.
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 12, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 12, 2010
    #3
  4. Julein

    Julein Idiocracy At Its Best The Pit

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    epic dude. BUT i think when he got angry at the old guy the part were he started yelling back. i think it could be revised a little
     
    Julein, Oct 12, 2010
    Julein, Oct 12, 2010
    #4
  5. Joker

    Joker Ogre Hall of Fame Ogre Veteran

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    You certainly have the skills:book:
     
    Joker, Oct 14, 2010
    Joker, Oct 14, 2010
    #5
  6. Lions

    Lions Clubbed for Drama

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    Very nicely written, you could certainly become a short story writer.
     
    Lions, Oct 14, 2010
    Lions, Oct 14, 2010
    #6
  7. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    Thank you guys, intro to my second short story is now up.

    Writing.Com: The Day I Died

    Keep checking back on it to see the finished copy, I'll post here when it's finished though. This one should be more interesting than the last one.
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 14, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 14, 2010
    #7
  8. Julein

    Julein Idiocracy At Its Best The Pit

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    I quickly grabbed the lunch I had packed the night before while watching Family Guy and my laptop bag and walked out the door.
    ^
    that could be arranged better. but over all better than anything i can do
     
    Julein, Oct 14, 2010
    Julein, Oct 14, 2010
    #8
  9. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    Thank you, yeah it's a bit of an awkward sentence. And I finished the story. Not my best work, but it's a story nonetheless.
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 14, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 14, 2010
    #9
  10. Vocal

    Vocal サーベル 青 The Pit

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    like julein said,avoid using two "and" in a sentence as they sound awkward.
    anyway,rest seem good and interesting.Good luck with your future work.
     
    Vocal, Oct 14, 2010
    Vocal, Oct 14, 2010
    #10
  11. Joker

    Joker Ogre Hall of Fame Ogre Veteran

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    You have more talent than me:p. Best of luck on the writing bro.
     
    Joker, Oct 16, 2010
    Joker, Oct 16, 2010
    #11
  12. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    Thanks bro.
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 17, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 17, 2010
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  13. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    eXoZmM, Oct 17, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 17, 2010
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  14. Julein

    Julein Idiocracy At Its Best The Pit

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    Epicly awesome
     
    Julein, Oct 18, 2010
    Julein, Oct 18, 2010
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  15. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    Thank you. Thinking about turning it into a novel
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 18, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 18, 2010
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  16. Julein

    Julein Idiocracy At Its Best The Pit

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    that would be cool. you'll have to right me as your supporter :)
     
    Julein, Oct 18, 2010
    Julein, Oct 18, 2010
    #16
  17. eXoZmM

    eXoZmM Clubbed

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    I will, and will keep everyone updated here. Might just start a blog about it. Currently working on the plot development and character development, won't begin writing chapter 1 for a while
     
    eXoZmM, Oct 18, 2010
    eXoZmM, Oct 18, 2010
    #17
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